It's You (Again)
Lately, he often appearing in my dream, again. He, someone I shouldn't love. Someone I cherish the most but will never love me back.
---
We met again. In the same class, on the same table.
I didn't remember what class we took, but I exactly remember how he was. He was the same person as in the old days. The way he teasing me, the he talk to me. It was the same.
Everything was okay until...... Daehwi and Baejin appeared. Idk why these two has appearing in my dream. But they did one crucial job.
Daehwi asked me how's the progress with him. I said it's fine, same as back in old day, I'm already glad. Then Daehwi asked me again, did you tell him that you love him since back day? I instantly replied, no, I didn't tell him yet but I think this is the best situation, I'm already satisfied.
Suddenly Baejin got angry and tried to tell him--that I love him from back day till now--by yelling in the class!! I tried to stop him but yea, I couldn't beat his power.
Everything was spilled out. I felt like, I'm done. Things gonna be awkward again. I can't talk to him relaxively ever again. I'm so helpless.
My other friends consoled us to talk privately about how I actually feel. So, I'm sitting with him, but we ended up not talking privately coz some of boys from my class sitting around us too (just whyyy??). I was totally embarrassed. After a few minutes, I managed to calm myself. I told him that I love him since then back to the old day till this day. But I'm getting nervous again, but still trying to finish my talk. I said that the reason why I didn't tell him earlier because I was already satisfied with this kind of relationship, I didn't want to get awkward with him and in the back day he was in a relationship. My tears almost broke out in that time, then he suddenly caressed my head tried to calm me down.
AND SUDDENLY THIS EPISODE ENDED LIKE THAT. I JUMPED TO ANOTHER EPISODE. WHY WHY WHY JUST WHY. HE DIDN'T GET TO SAY ANYTHING, EVEN IN MY DREAM. JUST WHYYYYYY.
But this episode still has a continuity from that. I met my college best friends, I told them that I already confess my feeling to him. But I was sad because he didn't said anything. Then suddenly, there was Ong in the outside. He dressed as Jim Carrey--Yes, with that yellow outfit--he did screaming pose as in the Get Ugly performance. That's not all. Daniel suddenly appear after Ong, with that hoodie and specs as in the Think Nature CF, and he was jumping like rabbit called for my attention. These two trying so hard to make me laugh. And yea, they succeed.
My dream ended just like that.
---
It's such a short dream but keep spinning on my head. And yes, I was very happy in my dream. Like I know it's definitely just a dream, but let me cherish the moment.
It makes me think, do I miss him? Do I still love him? Or it just an effect of my current stress? Like my mind and my soul need some warmth and comfort, so my subconscious mind(?) recalled my happy momments.
Ugh. Maybe I should rest a little bit and get some mind refreshment.
Bantul, 24 November 2017.
Hujan deras sekali, entah kapan akan berhenti.
---
We met again. In the same class, on the same table.
I didn't remember what class we took, but I exactly remember how he was. He was the same person as in the old days. The way he teasing me, the he talk to me. It was the same.
Everything was okay until...... Daehwi and Baejin appeared. Idk why these two has appearing in my dream. But they did one crucial job.
Daehwi asked me how's the progress with him. I said it's fine, same as back in old day, I'm already glad. Then Daehwi asked me again, did you tell him that you love him since back day? I instantly replied, no, I didn't tell him yet but I think this is the best situation, I'm already satisfied.
Suddenly Baejin got angry and tried to tell him--that I love him from back day till now--by yelling in the class!! I tried to stop him but yea, I couldn't beat his power.
Everything was spilled out. I felt like, I'm done. Things gonna be awkward again. I can't talk to him relaxively ever again. I'm so helpless.
My other friends consoled us to talk privately about how I actually feel. So, I'm sitting with him, but we ended up not talking privately coz some of boys from my class sitting around us too (just whyyy??). I was totally embarrassed. After a few minutes, I managed to calm myself. I told him that I love him since then back to the old day till this day. But I'm getting nervous again, but still trying to finish my talk. I said that the reason why I didn't tell him earlier because I was already satisfied with this kind of relationship, I didn't want to get awkward with him and in the back day he was in a relationship. My tears almost broke out in that time, then he suddenly caressed my head tried to calm me down.
AND SUDDENLY THIS EPISODE ENDED LIKE THAT. I JUMPED TO ANOTHER EPISODE. WHY WHY WHY JUST WHY. HE DIDN'T GET TO SAY ANYTHING, EVEN IN MY DREAM. JUST WHYYYYYY.
But this episode still has a continuity from that. I met my college best friends, I told them that I already confess my feeling to him. But I was sad because he didn't said anything. Then suddenly, there was Ong in the outside. He dressed as Jim Carrey--Yes, with that yellow outfit--he did screaming pose as in the Get Ugly performance. That's not all. Daniel suddenly appear after Ong, with that hoodie and specs as in the Think Nature CF, and he was jumping like rabbit called for my attention. These two trying so hard to make me laugh. And yea, they succeed.
My dream ended just like that.
---
It's such a short dream but keep spinning on my head. And yes, I was very happy in my dream. Like I know it's definitely just a dream, but let me cherish the moment.
It makes me think, do I miss him? Do I still love him? Or it just an effect of my current stress? Like my mind and my soul need some warmth and comfort, so my subconscious mind(?) recalled my happy momments.
Ugh. Maybe I should rest a little bit and get some mind refreshment.
Bantul, 24 November 2017.
Hujan deras sekali, entah kapan akan berhenti.
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